well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
