Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
