So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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