she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
