The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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