Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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