why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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