If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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