do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
