ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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