i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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