Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
