My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
