Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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