In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
