its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
