i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My feet surprised me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
