GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
