whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
