And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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