I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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