it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
