ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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