so explain again why im purple
no
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
