In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There r osticjed everywhere
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
