great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
