i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
