I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
