thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
