Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
