Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
