Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
