TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
