I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
