The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
