I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am one with the molecules
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
