This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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