I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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