Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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