thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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