i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
