hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I FOUND THE LEGS
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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