if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
