Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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