i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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