hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
