ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
