I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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