i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
