we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
